Ugyen, now 37 years old, grew up in a small village in Punakha in western Bhutan, the fourth son in a family of 9 children. Ugyen was enrolled in school at an early age, but by the time she reached grade 9, she dropped out - not because of poor grades, but because she struggled to cope with the environment. Unlike other boys, Ugyen preferred to wear women’s attire and was drawn to activities typically associated with girls. She recalls running away from the football field when made the goalkeeper, feeling "weird" and confused by her own actions. It wasn’t until much later in life in grade 7 that she came to understand herself as a transwoman.
Throughout her school years, Ugyen faced intense bullying from her peers. Her feminine behaviors, like sitting with girls or expressing interests in "womanly" things, led to punishment, as others assumed she was dating the girls. At home, Ugyen faced further rejection. While her mother, now in her late seventies, remained her steadfast supporter, her siblings disapproved of her "odd" behavior, and she eventually had to leave home. Ugyen began doing odd jobs for a living, babysitting for cousins and running a small shop. Despite these hardships, her mother’s unwavering support was instrumental in helping Ugyen move to Thimphu, the capital, in search of work and a better life.
Ugyen’s life began to change when she joined Lhak-Sam, a network supporting people living with HIV/AIDS. There, she worked as a Community Outreach Worker, providing counseling and support to individuals with HIV/AIDS and sensitizing communities on prevention and treatment. This role gave her the platform to participate in the World AIDS Day event in 2012, where she publicly embraced her identity as a transwoman for the first time, donning a kira, a traditional Bhutanese women’s costume. This bold step, however, was met with shame from her brother, who expressed his discomfort at seeing her come out as a transwoman. Despite the emotional pain, Ugyen remained resolute.
Reflecting on her journey, Ugyen Yangchen Lhamo, now a confident and resilient woman, emphasizes the importance of family support for people like her. “Family support is key,” she says. “Without my mother’s continued love and strength, I would not have overcome the internalized shame and self-stigma.” She encourages others in the LGBTIQ community to avoid self-stigma, urging them to take the first step toward self-acceptance. “Unless you value yourself, you will continue to feel low and depressed,” she reflects.
Ugyen has no desire to continue her formal education, but she has found fulfillment in running her own bar shop. During the COVID-19 lockdown, she, like many young Bhutanese, joined the De-suung Programme - an initiative of His Majesty the King to encourage citizens to take part in nation-building. As a De-suung (Guardian of Peace), she contributed by manning flu clinics and distributing goods to communities during the lockdown. She is also pursuing her passion for dancing and looks forward to performing a traditional Bhutanese dance at the national day event on December 17th.
Bhutan decriminalized same-sex activity in 2021 where the repeal of the law criminalizing homosexuality was initiated by the Government citing its adverse effects on society. At the policy level, the revision of the 2020 National Gender Equality Policy (NGEP), to integrate concerns of LGBTIQ+ is another notable progress. The Policy seeks to explore equality through five domains- political, economic, social, education, and health to create an equal and progressive society. Each of these domains include inclusive interventions, as well as targeted actions as needed for the LGBTIQ+ community. These proposed actions were further reviewed with the LGBTIQ+ community to ensure they are realistic and actionable.
Ugyen acknowledges that while societal attitudes have improved, the LGBTIQ+ community still face discrimination, particularly in finding employment where inclusivity is the norm. Despite these challenges, Ugyen remains optimistic, saying, “My country is small, but it has big dreams and ambitions. One day, everyone will be equal and happy.” Reflecting on her journey, Ugyen is proud of how far she has come. While her siblings once rejected her because of her identity, today they have reconciled, and they have apologized for their past actions. This healing, she says, has been one of the greatest gifts of her life. She frequently visits her mother in the village, where the family dynamic has changed, and she feels truly accepted. For Ugyen, this full circle - moving from rejection to reconciliation has been a testament to the power of family support.
This article is published as part of the UN Free and Equal Campaign, United Nations’ global public information and advocacy campaign for LGBTIQ+ equality.
